I did it! I successfully completed my fist day of college. Although it was so hard to leave my home in the morning time, by the end of the day I felt as though I might be able to create another home here. It all happened so quickly, it's hard to remember what to tell you all about! I guess I'll just start from the beginning. In the morning, mom and I packed up the car and set off for the two hour drive to Oakland. In the car, I felt very aware of the fact that when Mom would make the trip back, I wouldn't be coming with her. Luckily, family gets to stay an extra day so I'll darn well cross that darn bridge when it darn well comes! I had already gotten most of my tears out the day before, so I wasn't a complete wreck (but there's still time for that today). When we got to Mills, we were welcomed by cheering girls and a friendly security guard. As we moved through all the orientation steps, I met new people, learned names I'm never going to remember and tried not to be too weird or embarrassing. Something about the stress of meeting new people tends to make me twice as awkward and cheesy. I think it's because I feel the need to laugh at all my own jokes in order to prompt them as to when to laugh. This usually ends in the potential friend giving me a slightly confused and terrified look as they slowly try to inch their way further from my demonic laughter. Anyhow, after calming down, I did manage to meet a lot of great new people. Better yet, they happen to live on my same hall! Later in the day, my honorary little sister and my honorary second mom came to help me move in. By the end, a room which started out looking like an empty box turned into a posh bay area loft. After dinner with some new friends there was a scavenger hunt (which I may have seemed a little too excited for). When I got back to my new room, I could feel my eyes already closing. Goodnights came flashing across my screen from all of my wonderful friends and family and with that, the first day was done...
Disclamer: As I am now an independent college freshman, my mother will no longer be feeding me, housing me and more to the point... proof reading my blog posts. Prepare yourself for some typos. Also, this is not any of y'all's chance to become my new editor :p I would rather my only comments not be comma corrections.. (except for you Mom, you can still correct me) Thanks for reading:) Kerry <3
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Well, it's my last day at home. This little birdie is leaving the nest. Am I ready? Debatable... But I've been told that I'll never feel ready until I take the jump. I recently learned a new term which I felt described my current state of mind very well. Graduation goggles. It's used to describe that feeling of extreme nostalgia you get following High School Graduation (maybe other graduations as well, but I wouldn't know yet). During my last year of High School I wanted nothing more than to graduate and move on to a new chapter. Then graduation finally did come. A day when everyone looks their best, when you can finally feel proud of all those years of work, and when people who you never spoke to suddenly seem incredibly important in your life. Kids who I barely recognized told me they would miss me and in my heart I felt that I would miss them just as much. As summer passed, I began to look back on High School with more and more fondness. I found myself missing everything from my teachers and friends to the bathrooms that didn't lock and the mysterious pair of pink shorts that somehow came to live in the last stall. Luckily, just as my nostalgia began to get out of control, an article about leaving home crossed my path. The article seemed to describe my feelings exactly. My initial excitement for leaving, and my eventual dread. The author suggested that it might be helpful to take pictures of the worst parts of your hometown and look at them when you need a reminder of why you left. So if anyone comes across a picture of me drenched with sweat from the 103 degree weather here... now you know why;) Aside from the heat, there really isn't anything I'm escaping by leaving. I guess I'll have to focus on the good things that I'm going towards rather than the bad things that I'm leaving behind. I think the most important thing that this article offered me was perspective. That is where "graduation goggles" came in. I needed to take a step back and not let my fear of the future cause me to live in an enhanced version of the past. I will always cherish my memories from high school; but I also know that more memories are yet to be made. Wish me luck :)
Texas. Where groups of clucking woman stop you on the street to chat about wine, work, and give you sage advice such as "remember y'all, only talk to strangers if they're rich!" in that rich southern drawl. Where bugs the size of small rodents frequently plow across your path and where you're name always begins with "Miss" or "Baby". I'm back from an unforgettable visit to my wonderful Texas family. This year, we decided to fly instead of making the unbearably hot and long car ride across the state. There's something magical about being on an airplane and seeing the world from a completely new perspective. Our plane took us past an incredible storm, with pink lightning lighting up the whole sky. We flew over cities and saw traffic snake along roads like Christmas tree lights. I found myself thinking how cool it would be to have a dress designed to look like a city in the night. It would be black with shining yellow glass beads sewn in little clusters around the dress. On our return flight, it was exciting to see the lights of Oakland appear. I was looking down on the city that will soon by my home. In Texas, my aunt spoiled me rotten and took me to my fist spa adventure. There's something so special about getting a massage from a person and knowing that you won't also have to massage them back. No 5 minute trading like it is when my sisters and I massage each other... Just me getting my shoulders rubbed for and hour... This visit was full of firsts! I also went to Six Flags for the first time with my cousin and his family. By the end of the day I had lost my voice, my legs were sore and when I closed my eyes I still felt the ride swirling me around. Overall it was a success. And of course, a staple in every visit to Texas, the family trip to Ol' South Pancake House to indulge in massive amounts of Dutch Babies (pancakes smothered in butter, lemon and powdered sugar). Our family's undying love for these decadent pancakes can be seen in the fact that the waitress had to call backup in order to bring all 19 of them to the table... In order to pass the time until the food arrived I played a complicated game of tic tac toe made up by my cousin's youngest son. It involved lava, bombs and an unexplainable rule that somehow ended in his winning every time. All of these special trips and adventures were great, but my favorite part of the trip was getting to sit around with my family and talk. They are loud, witty, playful and loving, and I already look forward to the day I can see them again.
As I am about to go through so many changes, I have begun to appreciate the value of rituals. There is something so comforting about having a part of your day that stays the same. When everything else is changing around you, being able to rely on that morning cup of coffee or that afternoon run really makes a difference. My mom and I have many rituals. For one thing, eating a salad and watching BBC mysteries at lunch time... another is our morning ritual which has developed over the many years of our quiet companionship. We are usually up around 7:30, drinking our morning coffee in our comfy chairs. We read the news paper and we sit quietly. It might not seem like much, but thats the whole point. It's a peaceful start to the day that I can always count on. I look forward to developing my own rituals when I move away. Maybe it will be running in the morning, or Mass on Sundays, or just sitting on the porch when I wake up. Looking around, I see that everyone seems to have their own rituals. Sometimes they may not alway appreciate them, but at the same time, life wouldn't be the same without them. Whether it's a family trip to the Flea Market every Sunday or just sitting down to dinner every night, there is something special about those traditions. One day maybe you will look back and remember those times you spent with family and miss it all, so appreciate it now:) I know that everyone is different, but personally I enjoy a mix of new excitement, and familiar comfort in my life. In order to truly enjoy the exciting changes that come may way, I feel like I need that one cup of coffee to remind me that the whole world isn't shifting just because mine feels like it is.
To be entirely honest, I do not have a lot to write about today. The truth is, my mom has also started a blog and I told her that she had to write a second blog post today. She said she didn't know what to write about and I smugly said that I didn't either, but I wasn't worried because the topic would magically come to me as I sat down to write... as a result, my mom is sitting next to me typing away and I am sitting here, pretending that I am also writing ;) Shhhhhh. Earlier, we were watching a TV show called Girlboss about a girl who revamps and resells thrift store items on line. My sister suggested this show to me because I have a great love of fashion and thrift stores. I often buy thrift store items and sew them (or have my other sister sew them) to be exactly the way that I want. My sister and my brother in law seem to have undying faith in my ability to become successful in anything that I do. They seem to believe that if I wanted, I could do what the Girlboss does and get some cash. However, they have also encouraged me to pursue a career in songwriting, interior design, photography and of course pro ukuleleing. I am not entirely sure that I have done anything to earn this faith, and I am definitely not as talented as they try to make me think, but it does make me feel pretty good. I'm not sure that I would actually be able to do something like the girl from Girlboss, but I certainly enjoy thinking about it. I mean, being paid to shop would be pretty awesome. The hard part is actually taking the leap and trying it out. My fear is that I'm going to invest too much in thrift store buys and fail to make any profit. I have always loved shopping for other people, reading about fashions, sewing and taking pictures. I feel like the combination of those loves should lead me to selling clothes but my problem is the business side. Anyway, it's an idea :) Okay, mom seems to have moved on to looking up "best wine pairing for Indian food" so I suppose I can stop pretending to write :p
In my family, I am known as the neat one. We came to this conclusion when my oldest sister moved to college. For many years, my two sisters shared a bedroom. Now, I love them to death... but their room was a disaster. It was filled to the brim with various stuffed animals and papers and clothes and suspiciously fuzzy coffee cups. Katie claimed that she was orderly and it was entirely Erin's doing... Erin claimed that she was the organized one and Katie was the cause of the chaos. When Katie moved out, it was soon apparent that they were equally at fault. Katie's dorm was just as messy as Erin's new single bedroom. Now both sisters fully accept their messy natures. While they were sharing a room, I switched between spending some nights in my mom's bed and some nights in a storage bin full of pillows which I proudly called my bed. Because of my lack of room, I had very few personal belongings which automatically left me with the title of Young Family's Most Tidy Kid. The combination of my nomadic nature and my love of organizational self help books, has shaped me into the semi neat freakish person I am today. I am in no way implying that my room is always clean. However, when there is a mess around me, I notice that I have trouble focussing. When filling out my bio for finding a roommate at college, I stressed the importance of having a very clean room. I also made it clear that I like waking up early and going to bed early... you will probably not be surprised to hear that I will not be having a roommate this year. Annnnyway, the point of this very long winded intro is to introduce (duh) my new goal of getting rid of stuff I don't use. I was inspired by my close friend who shares my love of organizational self help books. She systematically went through all of her things and only kept stuff which was truly sentimental or that she used in her everyday life. I like the idea of doing this because I feel like it perfectly represents a fresh start. There's something so satisfying about sloughing off the old things that are hiding on your closet floor or in the back of a shelf. In addition to being therapeutic, I feel like purging my things is a good idea before I leave! I don't have to think as hard about what to pack. Anyhow, at this point in my post I'm realizing that there's no real reason why anyone would particularly care about the fact that I'm going to clean my room... but it's a little too late to change the subject. I also acknowledge that my intro was longer than my actual post... long story short, I just wanted to share with you that I am excited to declutter my life. That's all :)
Due to my current emotional instability (summer after high school is not as magical as Katy Perry makes it sound), I have been questioning every aspect of my life... which now includes this blog. I partly started this blog because I wanted to keep exercising my writing muscles. It seems like the most common tip for writers is to practice writing every single day. I figured that having a blog would force me to write a lot more. Although y'all may have noticed that I'm not particularly disciplined when it comes to a consistent posting schedule. Anyway, I was thinking about my reasons for wanting to write. When it comes down to it, I just really enjoy it. Whats not to love? When I write, I am in complete control. I have the power to say whatever I want to say in whatever way I want to say it. (What control issues?) I love writing because it's the easiest way for me to connect to people. When talking in person I tend to stumble over my words or forget what I was going to say. But when I write, it all seems to come out smoothly. Mainly, I love to write because words have the power to make people feel something deep down. I will never forget the moment that I realized this. It was the year that I took a speech and debate class. I wrote a very personal speech about a difficult time in my life and I used it in a competition. When I was perform my speech, I looked at the judge and saw tears in his eyes. After the competition he pulled me aside and told me that my words really touched him and that he remembered what it was like to be a kid in my same situation. Somehow, that stranger and I had formed a connection and it was a moment I'll never forget. I guess the reason I've been thinking about this is because soon I'll be starting as an English major and I want to be sure that this is what I want to do. I've joined the club of 18 year olds who only ever have to answer one question... "so what do you want to be when you grow up?" I always feel awkward when people ask me this because I really don't have an answer yet. Some adults give me a very concerned expression after hearing that I don't have set plans... other adults reassure me that people rarely know what they're going to be at 18 because they change over time. The fact that the reactions are so varied makes me think that I'll be okay. It seems like most people have their own ideas of what the right and wrong way of doing things are. But maybe there isn't a right or wrong way. I guess we'll just have to see :)
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AuthorHey, it's Kerry:) I have 2 older sisters and they both started a blogs... so naturally (being the little sister) I joined the bandwagon. So here I am! I hope you enjoy, if not... well go find something else to do. :) Archives
June 2018
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